The beauty of aging football coaches

Courtesy of inveterate newsreader Tim Marsh:

Legendary NCAA Division III  football coach John Gagliardi, 82, (St. John's University) to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, about his job security:

"The monks give me a lifetime contract because they figure I can't last much longer. But there's a clause in there that if we start losing games, they can give me the last sacraments and declare me dead."

-- Spokane Spokesman-Review